Breakeven
by AlwaysRosewoodDelena
Summary: When Damon leaves Elena, she breaks down. What will happen when he comes back, a year later, after Stefan leaving with Katherine and leaving a all-alone Elena Gilbert, who's going through dark ways. " 'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even." - The Script


**Summary: **_When Damon leaves a human Elena, she starts breaking down. Can he come back and fix the mess he'd done? All human characters._

**Elena's POV**

When I read the letter, I cried. I cried hard, without stopping. Why doesn't he think he's good enough? Is it my fault? Am I not enough? The letter said this:

_Dear Elena,_

_I'm sorry. I cannot do this. I can't destroy you._

_You're so perfect, so pure. I can't destroy that. You don't deserve it. I don't deserve us. I don't deserve you._

_I'm so sorry. please don't cry. It'll be alright. " When it's real, you can't walk away". If it is real, we will find each other again. True love never dies._

_You'll be ok. You'll be with Stefan. You'll be better off without my weight on your backs. I'll be okay. We'll be okay. better, there will never be a 'we'. I'm ok with that. I hope you have a nice life._

_You'll always be in my heart, Elena. Always and forever._

_Love, -Damon_

A year has passed. It didn't improve. I haven't eaten since... I can't really remember. The pain at my stomach feels good. It makes me feel good enough. _Skinny._

" Elena, I'm tired of this." My supposed boyfriend, Stefan, says.

" What do you mean?" I asked, faking an innocence we both knew wasn't real.

" I... I cannot be your replacement of Damon. He's my brother. He made a mistake. I bet he's as miserable as you."

" Shut up, please. I don't wanna hear the D-name." I commented. He gave me a stern look. "What?" I yawned. " This conversation is _boring _me."

" Everything we do always bores you, Elena." He stated, sarcastically.

" So not truth."

" Yes it is." Of course it is. He's boring. He never takes risks. I'm not the same saint-Elena I used to be. When will he get that?

" What-ever, Stefan. So not in the mood to have this conversation." He hit the table with his hand and got up, angrily. He scared me, actually.

" I'm tired of all that attention-seeking, Elena! YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO SUFFERS WITH THIS! Stop being such a bitchy-Drama-Queen. I'm tired of listening to you. I don't want _anything _to do with you. You are just as bad as Katherine. Or worse. I'm not your toy. I loved you. But I'm done. Don't look for me." A tear fell from my eye, but I furiously wipped it off. Stefan didn't want me.

" Goodbye, Stefan." I got up and ran away quickly, not bothering to look to Stefan's cold expression. I couldn't take that.

I went to a bar. I had no one. Jeremy died. Jenna died. Mom and Dad died. John and Isobel died. Alaric died. Lexi died. Bonnie didn't talk to me any longer. Damon was gone. Stefan didn't love me. Caroline was in New Orleans with Klaus 'sorting shit out'. And finally, I realized I was ok with that. I didn't have anything to live for anymore.

I was a waste of space. A waste of time. A waste of humanity.

I was _nothing_. I was gone. Elena Gilbert everyone knew was gone. Forever gone. Just one person could take her back. And that person left her/me when I needed him.

So I didn't care. I cared about nothing at all. It was a numbness.

" Hello, darling. Are you here for sex?" I laughed. Of course. What was the big deal of sex, anyways?

" Sure." He guided me to the bathroom. When he was finally done, I got dressed and left. He payed, of course. I needed money. I needed to pay bills and all that shit humans need to do.

My make-up was smooth and my lipstick was fucked up. My hair was messy. I was fat. I was a waste of space.

I found a dealer at the end of the street. Trying it wouldn't make me addicted, for sure. I just needed a excape. It was good for me. When I finally conviced myself, I went to him.

" Is there any way you can give me some without me paying?" I asked, straight to the point.

" Sure, for _you only_." I nodded. He kissed me eagerly. After sex, he gave me it and I went away. I knew what I was doing was nasty. And I was a slut for it. But I didn't feel guilty at all. I went home, took a shower and took the drugs. It was sensation of freedom, like flying. It felt so good. I didn't want it to change.

I didn't want this feeling to ever go away.

* * *

**Damon POV**

Today, it make a year since I left. I wonder how she is. I bet ok. With Stefan. I want her. I do. But I can't never have her. I don't want her to leave my brother. I could never do that kinda shit to baby-bro.

And I don't deserve Elena. She's too good.

I'll go back. Quickly. My phone rang. " _Damon?_"

" Hey, baby-bro. Did your shampoo expired and you're afraid to loose the hero-hair. How's Elena?"

" That's the whole point. Damon, she needs you. I broke up with her. Today. I realized I'm not in love with her. Not anymore."

" I never thought of hearing you saying that, Stefan." My voice was kinda harsh. " I'll be there by tomorrow. Wait for me."

" I'm not in Mystic Falls."

" What?" I groaned in impatience. " Where are you, Stefan?"

" I'm gonna travel around the world. With Katherine."

" WHAT? Katherine is a bitch. She played us. She's Elena's rival. Are you freakin' kiddin' me?" I yelled on the phone.

" I'm sorry, Damon. I just can't do this. I'm not good for Elena and Elena's no good for me. I hope you can understand someday. Bye, brother." Before I could lecture him any longer he hung up on me. I growled.

Perfect.

I went to the road. I was going to check on Elena tomorrow. But if I wanted to get there that early, I needed to take a plane. I bought a ticket.

When I was at the plane, I could fuck a girl who was pretty needed. She flirted, I flirted, we had sex and then pretended it never happened. My life was so damn exciting. *roll of eyes*

I pressed Elena's number after a inner-fight. " _Hello?" _Her voice was tired, almost as she was forcing herself to speak.

" Elena?" I tried.

" _D-Damon?" _She asked and I heard a sob on the other end of the line. " _What do you want? _" She asked.

" I'm going home."

" _I don't want you here. Please don't come back. " _That was like being stabbed a million times and then kicked down.

" What do you mean, Elena? I have every right to come back. I have my brother there." I said, bitterly.

" _Fuck you, Damon_" She spatted. That wasn't the typical Elena Gilbert. I guess this year changed her. She wasn't a little girl anymore.

" Hasn't anyone taught you any manners?"

" _I couldn't care less, Damon. Get over yourself._" I knew she was struggling not to cry. I was sad that I caused that. But I couldn't let her talk like that to me.

" What is the matter with you, Elena?" I asked, sternly.

" _What the matter?! You're fuckin' kidding, right? You LEFT me, Damon. You left me by myself against the world. You didn't care, Damon. You weren't here. And now you wanna be back to my life. I won't allow you."_

" Elena..."

" _Don't Elena me." _I chuckled. " _I didn't mean to be rude Damon. But you'll leave me. I don't want to pass through that once again. Goodbye, Damon. _" The goodbye was a whisper. A tear fell down my cheek.

" Goobye, Elena." I hang up. Why did she have to be that difficult? I'll fix it. I can't give up on her, because she never gave up on me.

The next day, I got off the plane and directed to the closest bar. It seemed a 'Whore Bar', actually. It was new and the prostitutes used to go there to get some. Either drugs or money.

I couldn't be more surprised when I entered and saw Elena, with a dress that looked more like a shirt, smoking a cigarette and drinking scotch. She swallowed once again and then, got up and went to a guy, starting to kiss his neck sensually. He put her closer and she put her hand on his back pocket and took of his wallet.

When he was leading her to the bathroom I called her " ELENA!" She looked at me, shook her head and lead the guy with her. I sat on a table and asked for a very strong drink. I was going to need it if I wanted to deal with a rebelious teenager.

When Elena got out of the bathroom, and the man followed she ordered another drink.

" Elena?"

" Yes, Damon?" She asked.

" Are you gonna pretend you didn't fuck that guy?" I asked.

" I didn't." She admitted, in a little shame. A tear fell from her eye.

" You don't need to do this, Elena. This isn't you- Wait. You didn't?"

" Nope. He wanted. I told him no." She stated. I smiled at her. " I missed it." She whispered. Her voice was pained.

" What?"

" Your smile. I missed you so much but you never seemed to miss me because you never called, or cared, or thought about me. And how much you broke me. And then Stefan ended it all and... I am sorry, Damon."

" I know, sweetheart." I said. " I know." I took her hand. " Do you want to go home?" She nodded.

" Stefan left." She said.

" I know." I whispered. "I'm sorry, Elena."

" I know." She tried to regain the composture. " Please, can we go home?"

" You could stay at my home. It's empty. Your house gives you bad memories." She nodded, but her eyes were so dull, almost dead. When we got home and I asked if the wanted to eat something, she immediately said no. She didn't even think.

" When was the last time you ate, Elena?"

" I don't know." She finally admitted, because she knew I could see beneath her lies.

" Come on, eat. You're so beautiful."

" No, I'm anything but _beautiful_." She cried. " I'm ugly, fat and useless. I'll never be loved. I j-I just wanted to be loved..." My heart broke at this and hugged her tightly.

" I love you, Elena. Always will." She cried harder. " I will never leave you. Everything is gonna be okay. I'll be with you forever. Until I die."

She sobbed, heart-wrecking sobs. Then, she finally started to lock her eyes and fell into a heavy sleep on my arms.


End file.
